In-the-Spirit-of-Thanksgiving

In-the-Spirit-of-Thanksgiving

Tonight Caitlyn hosted a wonderful holiday meal...roast and potatos and chessy garil biscuits. She had made a egg nog spice cake but that got pushed aside we made gingerbread house out of graham crackers (side note...instead of trying to use royal icing to make the house..you know the stiff white frosting that never really supports the graham crackers until competely dry but you are so impatienct you try to decorate anyway and your house eventually crumbles?..instead of doing that melt a cup of sugar in a sauce pan on the stove. It sets up real quick like hot glue. If you burn the sugar it turns brown so pretty easy to blend into the cracker. It was AWESOME!..so back to tonight).. It was really great because we had all the niece and nephews there. The older were helping the younger. Everone play nice pretty much. It was a great night but....

It sucks being single in this time of year. I read someone call it the "inbetween". I thought how appropriate. I am inbetween a lot of things. Inbetween loving and hating being single. Inbetween being old and young. Inbetween happiness and sadness. Inbetween being a mother and not (I know I am single but I have a carseat in my car and I have sippy cups in my cupboards). Being inbetween kinda sucks now. It is the time for Santa, stocking, suprises, and making lists and the SAPPY Christmas music all about love. Yes I am making a list and stocking for TJ but sometimes that just makes it worse. To know that I am filling a stocking for a DOG (yes my beloved and cherished dog) when I am longing to fill it with frilly little girl things or strudy little boys toys. It seems that I am always looking in and wanting and knowing that I won't have it (yes I am trying to remain positive but when I think about the future...even positively...it doesn't include what I want). It is just heartbreaking sometimes. When you go to family functions and everyone gets paired off and it is family photos and you don't have a family of your own. When you don't want to go to things (aka parades) without both your parents because you think people will think you are married to your father (this has happened MANY times and so embrassing! No offense Dad.) It is just depsressing to know that you love to babysit because you get to daydream that your niece and nephews could be yours.

So this video was a nice reminder to be thankful for our adversaries.I am in the inbetween for a reason. It will all work out eventualy. It is also a reminder that I need to seek more guidance from Heavenly Father. I know it is something I need to work on.

I am going to bed now.