feeling like a failure...

Today, I feel like a failure…REALLY BAD!!  I have been working at the same job for 5 years.  There have been a few modifications over the years but nothing drastic.  An opportunity has presented itself to transfer to another department.  I thought I would get it hands down…well not really hands down but I felt compared to the other candidates, I was most qualified.   

I learned that there would be a test.  EEK!!  I am not a good test taker.  Then I learned there would be a math portion!!  EEEKKKK!!!  I am terrible at math.  I squeaked by with a C because of a very generous teacher.  Ok.  I can do this…Or that is what I kept telling myself.  I studied from online help.  I felt a little better.   

Today I took the test.  Typing I aced.  I was pretty good considering I haven’t taken a speed/accuracy test in a LONG time.  Average of 75/wpm with 6 mistakes.  10 Key was half as good.  That was 41 with 10 mistakes. 

Then it was the math test.  WOOHOO! I did better than I thought.  The percentage questions always through me off but 1 out of 5 really isn’t that bad (a lot better than missing them all as I expected).   

What really killed me was the excel test.  I had no idea I should study up on Excel.  I didn’t know formulas, the proper way to do this or that.  What I know is self taught and Google. I crashed and burned. I feel awful.  

I was emailing my Dad and he said You probably did all right then. Any time I took a test and felt good about it I usually bombed t and any time I felt like I did really bad on a test I did all right. Power of positive think is what YOU always say!!! ….“I’M SURE YOU DID ALL RIGHT. See you at home..”   That made me feel better and totally loved.  So I will try to look at the positive: if I don’t get the transfer/promo it means something better is around the corner right?

Lets hope so…..