Don't get offended if you are a democrat...these are jokes that were sent to me by Dad and I feel are pretty funny and accurate...
A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing FREE KITTENS.
Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man. “Hi there, little girl, I’m President Obama. What do you have in the basket?” he asked.
“Kittens.” little Suzy said.
"How old are they?" Asked Obama.
Suzy replied, “They’re so young, their eyes aren't even open yet.”
“And what kind of kittens are they?”
“Democrats,” answered Suzy with a smile.
Obama was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens.
Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president should return the next day, and, in front of the assembled media, have the girl talk about her discerning kittens. So the next day, Suzy was again standing on the sidewalk with her basket of “FREE KITTENS” when another motorcade pulled up, this time followed by vans from ABC, NBC, CBS and CNN.
Cameras and audio equipment were quickly set up, then Obama got out of his limo and walked over to little Suzy.
“Hello, again,” he said, “Id love it if you would tell all my friends out there what kind of kittens you're giving away.”
“Yes sir,” Suzy said. “They’re Republicans and Independents.”
Taken by surprise, the president stammered, “But … but … yesterday, you told me they were DEMOCRATS.”
Little Suzy smiled and said, “I know. But today, they have their eyes open.”
NO NATIVITY SCENE IN WASHINGTON D.C. THIS YEAR.
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scenein the UNITED STATES Capital this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason.
They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capitol.
A search for a Virgin continues..
There will be no problem, however,finding enough asses to fill the Stable...
Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little over 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five Aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell . New Mexico . This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and other federal agencies and organizations.
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April 1948, nine months after that historic day, the following people were born:
Albert A. Gore, Jr.
John F. Kerry
William J. Clinton
Charles E. Schumer
See what happens when aliens breed with sheep and jackasses? I certainly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It did for me. No wonder they support the bill to help illegal aliens! Now You Know.